Raw & Vulnerable

Living a life worthy of the "Christian" title is one to aspire to, but it is nothing easy to achieve. I've noticed over the years that being a Christian -- or having the label anyway-- is a popular thing in today's society. Actually living the life, on the other hand, is nothing everyone is jumping up and down to do. This is where I fall: a lukewarm Christian. I hate it. God doesn't really accept a lukewarm Christian either:

'I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot; I wish that you were cold or hot.
'So because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of My mouth.

-Rev 3:15-16

Be something! Don't just be in the middle, where you understand the life you're supposed to live and believe in Christ, but refuse or are too lazy to do anything about it. Life is not about you or me. It's about serving Christ and loving others. Too often people forget that Christ died for us. I know I have a hard time grasping the fact that he physically was tortured and humiliated for me. It sounds like a great story when you read about it and hear it being preached in church.... But can I honestly sit and say that the meaning that comes with Christ's death and resurrection has really resonated with me? It's hard to believe in things that are hard to understand. The fact that Jesus walked the earth 2000 years ago and conquered death for me... well it's hard to wrap my head around it. To experience that kind of love... I just don't know. It's hard for that to sink in. Being let down continuously by family, friends, and peers leads one to believe that true love doesn't really exist anymore. It's a little disheartening...

I say all that to say this... I'm a struggling lukewarm Christian.
On a journey..
to fall in love..
with the one and only: Jesus Christ.

I have been smooth sailing through life for far too long and I have been called to a more Christ-like life for a while now. I need to be raw and vulnerable to God, and the only way I can do that, is to be open about my journey to finding true love with Him. I need to be raw and vulnerable to my peers and be held accountable. That led to my decision to blog. I need support, and advice from people to help me stay strong and responsible. We were never meant to go through this journey alone.