Father

Losing a dad at such a young age really made me feel abandoned. It wasn't just losing my best friend that really made it so awful. Me and my mom had a terrible relationship through high school. I didn't feel like I belonged anywhere. I wanted to move out and almost did. I wanted to commit suicide, and I almost did.

Clearly I didn't do anything drastic like I wanted. There was something that always held me back. Something bigger, telling me "no, that isn't want you need to do." I listened.

The truth is, though, I felt extremely abandoned and unwanted throughout a majority of my high school experience. My family was falling apart and I couldn't really relate to any of them. Me and my brother didn't see eye to eye, and the relationship me and my mother shared...well...lets just say it wasn't peaceful. The mixture of me being a teenage girl, and the fact that I had just lost my dad really escalated the problems. Sometimes I just wanted a new family. I wanted to go to a family where I didn't have to deal with all the problems. I wanted to go to a family that still had a dad, who loved me with everything in him.

It wasn't until later that I learned I still had a daddy. I still do. I have one that is jealous for me, loves me, and wants the very best for me. I am his little girl and he is protective of me. Lucky for me, he's everywhere. He never leaves me to do my battles alone. He is my shoulder to cry on and never judges me. He's the best father in the whole wide world.

"How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God!" (1 John 3:1 NIV).

God is my father. And I am his child. He made me special, with a specific purpose in mind. I am NOT random. I was not mass produced. I was special ordered. --- That really makes me feel better about my situation. I've officially been 1/3 of my life without my dad already. It's crazy to think that I'm getting closer and closer to the 8 year mark of his death.

I also know I'm not the only one who has experienced the trauma of losing a parent at such a young age. For you who understand, I just encourage you to acknowledge your other dad. The one who thought about you, and knew about you well before your biological (or adopted) father ever did. The one who spoke your name into existence. He is always there for you and he will never leave you behind. He loves you. Just like I know he loves me. Have peace in the fact that you will ALWAYS be someone's baby girl or baby boy.

Jeremiah 1:4-5 : The word of the Lord came to me, saying, 'Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.'

Ephesians 1:5 - God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure.

John 14:27 (NIV) “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.”

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CRAZY LOVE

My reading in Crazy Love actually matched up perfectly with the above portion. It discussed our heavenly Father and how he loves us unconditionally. Here, on Earth, we haven't all experienced the greatest relationships with our parents. Some have experienced abuse and hardships. Others have been luckier to experience love. Regardless of the Earthly father we think about when we hear the word "dad" -- we have an even better one in Heaven.

And the best part... he is jealous for us.

“You shall not make for yourself an idol, or any likeness of what is in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the water under the earth. You shall not worship them or serve them; for I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God” -- Exodus 20:4-5

He wants our attention! Puny little humans. And he wants to spend time with us. It's amazing, isn't it? That the God of his universe is invested in our lives.

The sad part is, we have this Father who we desperately need, and yet we hardly ever want. We ignore Him most hours of the day. He wants to build this amazing bond with us and give us everything, and yet... we only give him a small thought. We might force ourselves to pray or read the Bible because it's the "right" thing to do. When in all reality, God just wants his children to love him and turn to him.

So my challenge is to start giving God the time of day. To look at him as the father figure he has always been. To love him and get excited to spend time with him like I did with my own Earthly dad. I challenge you to do the same. Even if you didn't have a great relationship with your dad--or a relationship at all--turn to God to finally be that dad you've always wanted and needed. He's the only one who will never truly let you down.